Zapper or Sapper:
Which Are you?
We may not know the exact definition, but we know the feeling. There are two kinds of people in this world, Zappers and Sappers. The definition of each?
First, the Sapper. Strange name. It’s meaning? Let me explain.
You’re at a gathering at your child’s school, or perhaps at a local community event, or maybe at a business conference. It doesn’t matter. The description fits, regardless of the environment.
As you’re looking to make an acquaintance, you’re approached by an unknown attendee offering their hand and making an introduction. All good….for about three minutes. Then you feel it. The sap.
Sapper is a description for those who, just by spending a short time in their presence, we feel the energy being sucked from our bodies. The traits of a sapper? First, they talk about themselves and their lives…and nothing more than THEMSELVES and THEIR lives. Any effort on your part to contribute is met by an uncaring rebuttal advising how your comment relates to THEM. Whatever you shared, their example is twice as bad (or good) depending on which puts them in a a more positive light.
Further, Sappers have no interest in whether you care about their topic. They are blind to the complete separation between your interest and their words. They leave no gap in the conversation for a counter-thought, continuing on in a monotone voice, further draining every last ounce of energy from your body. Then, when you finally take a desperate step toward separation, you’re left trying to understand if that really just happened and how you might escape a similar fate sometime later in life.
Alternately, I present to you the Zapper, those with an energy about them that is so abound, you can feel it in your proximity well before you actually meet. It’s harder to define a zapper, as being in their presence is more of a feeling thing, tied to the heart and spirit rather than to the mind and thoughts. But, let’s give it a try.
Zappers ask questions early and often in your conversation. They give off a sense of caring about each and every word you offer, clearly working to understand the bigger picture meaning.
Zappers present a smile or another appropriate non-verbal sign fitting to the tone of the discussion. Their natural presentation is welcoming, whether with and open stance to show support and cohesion or leaning into the discussion to express care in your words.
Zappers seem to have a natural sense of empathy. You can almost feel them absorbing a level of your emotions. And, they reflect on what they heard, perhaps offering suggestions, but surely leaving you with the sense you’ve been heard from an emotional perspective.
Beyond just listening, Zappers are willing to share of themselves. They are free to present a sense of vulnerability by describing times of challenge and perhaps failure. They may tell a tale of triumph, but having confidence in themselves and not needing to enhance their image, they are far more likely to downplay their highs and laugh at a tale of their tripping and falling, all for the purposes of making us feel comfortable.
Zappers work hard at finding the positives in situations. They may very well have undergone training in mental discipline, allowing them a better chance at offsetting the ongoing negative messages found in society, replaced with the the far less-visible positive signs.
Zappers learn they are not victims of their thoughts rather (perhaps through training) they have the power to steer them, deflecting that which drains and absorbing that which motivates.
When you walk away from a Zapper, you feel better about yourself and have a better general outlook on the world. It may have been their words of encouragement or reinforcement. It may have been their overall demeanor. But, you know it when you’re around it. The imprint is deep.
Zappers and Sappers. Their contrast leaves us with one question. Which are we?
Regardless of where we might be on this scale today, we all have the ability to move in a favorable direction. Finding out where we are on the Zapper/Sapper scale may not be easy. It can be hard to know how we impact others. Perhaps ask a trusted friend or family member. Hopefully, those that love us will be the most honest.
But, closing the gap between where we are and where we’re going comes down to what we do. Reach out to a Zapper in your life and discover how they think. Find out what led them to seeing life as they do. Ask for guidance on the transition from Sapper-hood to Zapper-hood.
This current moment offers the first opportunity to impact the rest of your life. Be the leader in driving yourself to where you wish to go and to who you wish to be. By living the life of a Zapper, beyond the positive impact you have on others, you will reap the benefits of all that you sow, living a life of positive thoughts and abundant energy…all in all, a wonderful place to be.